Confess Now All Ye Sinners

When I first came out of the closet (see – )  I made an analogy between members of the Catholic Church and Anthropogenic Global Warming Believers.

Little did I know that just a week or so later, an online “confession booth” would be set up in time for Easter, and not for Catholics, but, for AGW Believers, to confess their “earthly” sins.

The following is a screen snapshot of the booth (no relation) at (click to enlarge)

The “directions” are “Confess your sins against Earth and swear off your evil eco ways forever.”

After entering the booth, here is the next screen (click to enlarge):

Can’t think of an eco-sin to confess to? Here are their “generated sin” suggestions:

I love horsepower more than I love the environment.

I want to clip bike commuters who slow down traffic with my side mirrors.

I fill my recycle garbage can full of trash and then put a layer of cardboard on the top to hide it.

I drink bottled water because it makes me feel fancy.

I use plastic grocery bags because paper sucks and bringing my own cloth bags sucks even worse.

I think hybrid cars are for wussies.

I dress my passenger seat in a jacket and hat and then use the carpool lane.

I justify eating watermelon all year long by telling myself it’s always in season somewhere in the world.

I refuse to read that new book or watch that new documentary about how jacked up our food supply is because I don’t want to know.

I think littering is ok as long as it’s something small.

I don’t buy organic because that shit’s expensive.

I don’t buy recycled paper because it seems dirty.

I secretly like to hear reports that global warming isn’t real because it decreases my guilt level.

I pretend to not know what a carbon footprint is.

I don’t have a compost pile because it grosses me out.

Really, what’s next? Pope Al Gore the first?

Followed perhaps by the AGW Spin-ish Inquisition?

Nobody expects the AGW Spin-ish Inquisition…


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